I keep seeing people use the term “TRAP” to describe a transgender female… And it is SO INFURIATING!

lethal-lovesick:

Even a few trans-friendly blogs are using it to tag photos of trans individuals.

Several trans people on the net have this to say about the term (an amalgam of various comments I have found):

Transsexuals try to pass for their real genders to be themselves and camouflage themselves from transphobes who may want to kill them for being transsexual, not to trap straight people attracted to non-trans members of their gender.


"The entire trap thing is a stinking pile of transmisogyny. It undermines our identity and attempts to invalidate the gender we live as. It is the root of the trans-panic defense and generally offensive to every trans person I know. The whole thing is so that straight dudes don’t have to deal with the fact that they are actually attracted to a transperson.

"TL;DR we fucking hate it."


"I hate that one. I am not a ‘trap.’ This is mostly done by men who are terrified of finding out that a pretty girl might have a penis, which in turn threatens masculinity, etc., etc.

"It makes it seem like my entire identity is wrapped up in ‘fooling’ straight men. Which, no."


"…I’m a trans woman and I find it pretty offensive. I date men, and I’m constantly struggling against the idea that I’m somehow out to trick them into sleeping with a guy.

"The whole trap meme pretty much boils down to the exact same attitude, treating trans women like they’re really men, and anyone who was attracted to the woman in the picture has been tricked or trapped.

"I don’t think it’s funny, and that attitude is not only horribly demeaning, but downright dangerous in that it encourages people who find out I’m trans to feel that they’re right in feeling trapped or tricked."

and

"…The idea that trans women are fooling men into sleeping with a man is what leads to so many trans women being beaten or killed when people find out their status."

It is so sickening to see people okay with this term, especially transgender individuals, who are directly harmed by this stereotype.

People are claiming it is a term brought about by anime/manga to describe cross-dressers (VERY different from transgender individuals, aduh) who trick men into sleeping with them under the pretense that they are females. THAT right there is proof enough that the term comes with a negative connotation!

Why continue using it?! Bring an end to it!

JESUS.

My response (written hastily and out of anger. If any of it is wrong, let me know. Please to not reblog and insult me, I was doing my best to have conherent thoughts in the face of such an insult @ 3am. Everyone makes mistakes - allow my to correct it.):

All of you dumb fuckers need to get one thing straight: TRANSGENDER individuals and CROSS-DRESSERS are not the same. nor are TRANSVESTITES synonymous.

Let’s go to school:

I am a transgender female. I know of which I speak. Here goes::

TRANSGENDER: an individual born one SEX who mentally identifies with the OTHER. Their GENDER is, say, female, while their biological SEX is male. GENDER does NOT equal SEX. One is mental, one is biological. Get that straight NOW. (ant. CISGENDER).

TRANSVESTITE: an individual who gets sexual gratification from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. Most often men wearing female clothing. Can be gay, straight, bisexual, cisgender, transgender etcetcetc. But the term ONLY applies to one who GETS OFF wearing articles of clothing of the other SEX.

CROSS-DRESSERS can be transvestites but are nore commonly viewed as entertainers: DRAG QUEENS, etcetc. Heightened, exaggerated femininity in most cases, but some just like to dress up for the hell of it, be it sexual or not.

USE these terms CORRECTLY.

A cross-dresser not offended by TRAP is perfectly normal, because they essentially ARE traps, if you;re going out of your way to have sex with straight men. You are cisgender (in most cases) and idenfity as male! You are not identifying as a female, stuck in a male’s body (in some cases) trying to be with a man. You could never understand the level of rejection, fear, and isolation a transgirl feels at this!

TRANSGENDER individuals are the ONLY ONES who have the RIGHT to claim if a term is offensive to them or not. I see people saying “Oh, I’m a crossdresser, trap doesn’t offend me.”

NO SHIT DUMB ASS, because you are not directly hurt by it does not mean a thing. It is widely used IN ENGLISH to refer to transgirls. SO They are the ones allowed to be offended by what is OBVIOUSLY a very derogatory word, said with derision and used as transphobic hate defenses.

That’s like a white person saying “Nigger doesn’t offend me” or even if it does, WHO CARES. You could NEVER comprehend the fear, dysphoria, etc that one person has when they are enduring the struggles attributed to them by that one powerful word.

It is just a word, but it has SO MUCH power to wound.

I do not give a fuck if it is a term in Japanese cartoons that STILL fetishize and OBJECTIFY this minority group: Listen to how people say it in ENGLISH, the way it is said, and THEN tell me it is innocuous. You will be WRONG.

Pull your nerdy ass face out of a goddamn manga and do some real research before you even make a single comment about a term and what it refers to/who is offends. Stop reading these books that humiliate, objectify, fetishize and victim-blame trans individuals. It promotes harmful stereotypes and facilitates trans-misogyny. END IT. 

LINK.

Tomorrow I’ll be co-hosting an important panel discussion on the science and myths of Ebola. By now you would’ve likely read hundreds of scary headlines about the Ebola outbreak in West Africa, with lots of hand-wringing about why “Africa” isn’t being quarantined already. Perhaps you saw Donald Trump say that American medical staff should not have been let back into the USA to get treatment? Did you hear about the “top secret” cure that greedy scientists/ policy-makers aren’t sharing? Maybe you saw reputable media like The New York Times dutifully creating panic with headlines about Americans visiting hospitals thinking they had Ebola (but actually just had the flu)? Or the right-wing arguments that Latin American migrants are crossing over to the USA and bringing the disease? And what about the pigs - can they make us sick? They did in the Hollywood movie Contagion! Is “the Government” holding back science about aerosol transmission of Ebola? So much to fear, but what can we believe?
The fact is… most of what the media is reporting is incorrect.
Ebola is not airborne. It is transmitted by close contact with blood and bodily fluids and secretions (not by coughing or merely by touch). This is why Ebola is spreading in developing nations with inadequate healthcare. 
My co-host, molecular biologist Dr Buddhini Samarasinghe, and I will be talking with virology expert Professor Vincent Racaniello and Infectious Disease Epidemiologist Dr Tara C. Smith. They’ll talk about what Ebola is, how it’s transmitted, how the current epidemic might be contained, and we’ll also talk about some of of the media-driven misconceptions about the virus. We’ll discuss why an outbreak in developed nations is unlikely and we’ll cover the socio-economic factors sustaining the epidemic in poorer nations.
Head to our Science on Google+ event page to read more. I answered a question about whether Ebola might spread through the upcoming Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca (highly unlikely) and why the United Nations says travel bans are not necessary. You can also despair over the various conspiracy theories being espoused, which our Science Moderators like biochemist Professor Rajini Rao are patiently dispelling. 
We’ll broadcast on Monday 7.30AM Australian EST time (that’s Sunday 2.30pm USA Pacific or 10.30PM UK). You can watch our video later at your leisure on our Science on Google+ YouTube Channel, Science Hangouts.
Learn More
Can’t wait until tomorrow and want to read a little ahead? We republished an excellent introduction about Ebola by biologist Maren Hunsberger. Tara has also written a couple of easy to understand explanations on why Ebola is not airborne and an historical perspective on Ebola responses. Watch Vincent lead a discussion about why the epidemic has spread and how it might be curtailed.
See you tomorrow for a sensible chat about the science and social policy responses to Ebola! High-res

Tomorrow I’ll be co-hosting an important panel discussion on the science and myths of Ebola. By now you would’ve likely read hundreds of scary headlines about the Ebola outbreak in West Africa, with lots of hand-wringing about why “Africa” isn’t being quarantined already. Perhaps you saw Donald Trump say that American medical staff should not have been let back into the USA to get treatment? Did you hear about the “top secret” cure that greedy scientists/ policy-makers aren’t sharing? Maybe you saw reputable media like The New York Times dutifully creating panic with headlines about Americans visiting hospitals thinking they had Ebola (but actually just had the flu)? Or the right-wing arguments that Latin American migrants are crossing over to the USA and bringing the disease? And what about the pigs - can they make us sick? They did in the Hollywood movie Contagion! Is “the Government” holding back science about aerosol transmission of Ebola? So much to fear, but what can we believe?

The fact is… most of what the media is reporting is incorrect.

Ebola is not airborne. It is transmitted by close contact with blood and bodily fluids and secretions (not by coughing or merely by touch). This is why Ebola is spreading in developing nations with inadequate healthcare.

My co-host, molecular biologist Dr Buddhini Samarasinghe, and I will be talking with virology expert Professor Vincent Racaniello and Infectious Disease Epidemiologist Dr Tara C. Smith. They’ll talk about what Ebola is, how it’s transmitted, how the current epidemic might be contained, and we’ll also talk about some of of the media-driven misconceptions about the virus. We’ll discuss why an outbreak in developed nations is unlikely and we’ll cover the socio-economic factors sustaining the epidemic in poorer nations.

Head to our Science on Google+ event page to read more. I answered a question about whether Ebola might spread through the upcoming Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca (highly unlikely) and why the United Nations says travel bans are not necessary. You can also despair over the various conspiracy theories being espoused, which our Science Moderators like biochemist Professor Rajini Rao are patiently dispelling. 

We’ll broadcast on Monday 7.30AM Australian EST time (that’s Sunday 2.30pm USA Pacific or 10.30PM UK). You can watch our video later at your leisure on our Science on Google+ YouTube Channel, Science Hangouts.

Learn More

Can’t wait until tomorrow and want to read a little ahead? We republished an excellent introduction about Ebola by biologist Maren Hunsberger. Tara has also written a couple of easy to understand explanations on why Ebola is not airborne and an historical perspective on Ebola responses. Watch Vincent lead a discussion about why the epidemic has spread and how it might be curtailed.

See you tomorrow for a sensible chat about the science and social policy responses to Ebola!

"Transmormon"

Eri Hayward shares her story of being a transgender woman in Utah, USA. She is of Japanese descent and was raised in a Mormon community, where she says she didn’t get an “opportunity to learn about things that were different,” like the support available to her as a transgender woman. This short documentary includes Eri and her parents reflecting on what it was like to understand her gender identity. She initially “came out as gay” but her story reflects that at the time this was a stepping stone “to be myself, which is a woman.”

Eri also talks about the difficulties of claiming her own sense of beauty and the moment when she learned about what it means to be transgender. She was visiting her grandmother in Japan, when her grandmother pointed out a parade of transgender people and said, “Oh, this is all about you!” Later, Eri is shown talking with family and friends about her upcoming sex reassignment surgery over a barbecue.

Both Eri and her parents discuss their desire for their Church to make transgender members feel included, including the right to a temple marriage. Eri notes that her faith has been, at times, a source of alienation, as she often feels uncomfortable at Church, but also a source of strength during her transition. 

"I think that really being so uncomfortable in my body for the longest time helped me really separate what are physical things and what are my spiritual components. I don’t think I succumbed to my body. I think I succumbed to my spirit and what it needed.

It was just letting go and letting the picture come into focus without me trying to force it to be something that it’s not. But when it comes down to it, the only thing I can believe in is the relationship between me and God. “ 

This is really beautifully told story about intergenerational family connections and spirituality of transgender people of colour.

brutereason:

“Allyship is not supposed to look like this, folks. It’s not supposed to be about you. It’s not supposed to be about your feelings. It’s not supposed to be a way of glorifying yourself at the expense of the folks you claim to be an ally to. It’s not supposed to be a performance. It’s supposed to be a way of living your life that doesn’t reinforce the same oppressive behaviors you’re claiming to be against. It’s supposed to be about you doing the following things:
1. shutting up and listening
2. educating yourself (you could start with the thousands of books and websites that already exist and are chock full of damn near everything anyone needs to know about most systems and practices of oppression)
3. when it’s time to talk, not talking over the people you claim to be in solidarity with
4. accepting feedback/criticism about how your “allyship” is causing more harm than good without whitesplaining/mansplaining/whateversplaining
5. shutting up and listening some more
6. supporting groups, projects, orgs, etc. run by and for marginalized people so our voices get to be the loudest on the issues that effect us
7. not expecting marginalized people to provide emotional labor for you”

No More “Allies” |


You can do it, it’s exciting… it’s understanding the universe and it’s being connected to the universe and making the world a better place.
- Candy Torres, Engineer.

What are you doing to celebrate the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 Moon Landing? Spend it with us at STEM Women, and a veteran woman engineer of the space program! In 8 hours, we’ll be talking with Candy Torres, a Puerto Rican engineer who went from being one of only 10 women in her astrophysics classes at Rutgers University, to getting a job at Princeton University to work on the Copernicus OAO-3C Satellite and later, as a software programmer for NASA.
Candy was a STEM trailblazer from an early age. She had a firm dream to join the space program, but she encountered much push-back from her family and friends in the Bronx, where she was born. Latina women were simply not meant to have a career in STEM, or so she was told, let alone dream of contributing to the space race.
At age 14, Candy joined the Civil Air Patrol and she was flying a plane before she could drive. She encountered sexism early on, however, when she learned that girl cadets were not allowed to participate in some training sessions. She tells CNN: “We were supposed to go find a businessman who was lost in the woods, but the girls were not allowed.” 
This attitude continued. At university in the 1970s, her classmates were less than welcoming of women. She tells CNN: “They were definitely not happy about having women in the class… I didn’t have any kind of support system. I didn’t get to know any of the other women, and the guys basically ignored me.”
Overcoming exclusion based on her gender and ethnicity, Candy would go on to use her computer programming skills to organise files for NASA. She later went on to work at Johnson Space Centre on software for the Space Shuttle as well as the International Space Station. She worked on various other space programs over the years, such as human factors.
Candy has been featured in various high-profile publications like The Atlantic, where she noted: "People don’t realize how many thousands of us worked on these programs… I loved being part of something big, and I knew that I had worked hard to be there." 
Candy has continued her work in recent years by educating the public on space history, and supporting the inclusion of minority women in space programs. She is passionate about encouraging Latino youth to pursue engineering and science. She tells Latino USA that her message to Latina and other minority women is about being passionate, curious and tenacious. 
Join us as we chat to Candy about her amazing journey through various space programs, and hear her advice for young girls and women who want to follow in her footsteps. We’ll be live on Sunday 20th July 2014 at 2.30 PM Pacific/ 10.30 PM UK or Monday 7.30 AM Australian EST. Check out our Event page for more details, including a link to our YouTube video if you want to catch up later. High-res

You can do it, it’s exciting… it’s understanding the universe and it’s being connected to the universe and making the world a better place.

- Candy Torres, Engineer.

What are you doing to celebrate the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 Moon Landing? Spend it with us at STEM Women, and a veteran woman engineer of the space program! In 8 hours, we’ll be talking with Candy Torres, a Puerto Rican engineer who went from being one of only 10 women in her astrophysics classes at Rutgers University, to getting a job at Princeton University to work on the Copernicus OAO-3C Satellite and later, as a software programmer for NASA.

Candy was a STEM trailblazer from an early age. She had a firm dream to join the space program, but she encountered much push-back from her family and friends in the Bronx, where she was born. Latina women were simply not meant to have a career in STEM, or so she was told, let alone dream of contributing to the space race.

At age 14, Candy joined the Civil Air Patrol and she was flying a plane before she could drive. She encountered sexism early on, however, when she learned that girl cadets were not allowed to participate in some training sessions. She tells CNN: “We were supposed to go find a businessman who was lost in the woods, but the girls were not allowed.” 

This attitude continued. At university in the 1970s, her classmates were less than welcoming of women. She tells CNN: “They were definitely not happy about having women in the class… I didn’t have any kind of support system. I didn’t get to know any of the other women, and the guys basically ignored me.”

Overcoming exclusion based on her gender and ethnicity, Candy would go on to use her computer programming skills to organise files for NASA. She later went on to work at Johnson Space Centre on software for the Space Shuttle as well as the International Space Station. She worked on various other space programs over the years, such as human factors.

Candy has been featured in various high-profile publications like The Atlantic, where she noted: "People don’t realize how many thousands of us worked on these programs… I loved being part of something big, and I knew that I had worked hard to be there." 

Candy has continued her work in recent years by educating the public on space history, and supporting the inclusion of minority women in space programs. She is passionate about encouraging Latino youth to pursue engineering and science. She tells Latino USA that her message to Latina and other minority women is about being passionate, curious and tenacious. 

Join us as we chat to Candy about her amazing journey through various space programs, and hear her advice for young girls and women who want to follow in her footsteps. We’ll be live on Sunday 20th July 2014 at 2.30 PM Pacific/ 10.30 PM UK or Monday 7.30 AM Australian EST. Check out our Event page for more details, including a link to our YouTube video if you want to catch up later.

My next instalment of the #SociologyOfTrolleys: There are many studies on why *online* shopping trolleys are abandoned (poor website design; lack of incentive or commitment by customers; and so on), there is little attention given to the reasons why people abandon shopping trolleys in everyday life. 

Researcher Franck Cochoy has done some research on how shopping trolleys shape shopping behaviour (for example, by visually representing the volume of our spending by virtue of how full our trolleys are). But this research does not examine abandoned carts.

Many people think that trolleys are abandoned because kids are using them to push each other around. As such wayward trolleys are often seen as an act of social deviance by young people. In my forthcoming posts I’ll look at how abandoned carts are policed both informally at the community level and more formally through rewards and penalties (it’s actually a lucrative business). The truth about shopping trolley “deviance” is less about youth and more about social class. 

#sociology #visualsociology #trolleys #shopping #shoppingcarts #shoppingtrolleys #youth #deviance #socialscience #class #society #culture High-res

My next instalment of the #SociologyOfTrolleys: There are many studies on why *online* shopping trolleys are abandoned (poor website design; lack of incentive or commitment by customers; and so on), there is little attention given to the reasons why people abandon shopping trolleys in everyday life.

Researcher Franck Cochoy has done some research on how shopping trolleys shape shopping behaviour (for example, by visually representing the volume of our spending by virtue of how full our trolleys are). But this research does not examine abandoned carts.

Many people think that trolleys are abandoned because kids are using them to push each other around. As such wayward trolleys are often seen as an act of social deviance by young people. In my forthcoming posts I’ll look at how abandoned carts are policed both informally at the community level and more formally through rewards and penalties (it’s actually a lucrative business). The truth about shopping trolley “deviance” is less about youth and more about social class.

#sociology #visualsociology #trolleys #shopping #shoppingcarts #shoppingtrolleys #youth #deviance #socialscience #class #society #culture

NAIDOC Week began as a celebration by the National Aborigines and Islanders Day Observance Committee, to recognise ”the history, culture and achievements of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.” The NAIDOC tradition stretches back to the 1920s when Indigenous Australian activists protested Australia Day, both due to its colonial history and ongoing discrimination. Indigenous people did not get full rights to vote until 1962 in most states, with Queensland being the last state to grant this right in 1965. Two years later, the Australian referendum amended the Constitution to finally grant Indigenous people citizenship.

The first NADOC Day was held in 1974

This year, NAIDOC began on the 6th of July and ends on the 13th of July. This year’s theme is, Serving Country: Centenary & Beyond. Events will commemorate the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people who have served in Australia’s Defence Forces.

Explore the local events in your area.

Learn more

  • Sociology of Indigenous Australians: the historical, health and economic issues that impact the educational outcomes of Indigenous youth (on my research blog)
  • Other socio-political issues facing Indigenous Australians (on my Tumblr)
  • Indigenous art (on my art blog Antipodeans).

Art Credit: NAIDOC website.

lightspeedsound:

"I don’t have an asian fetish I just happen to find asian people attractive"

NO.

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN" IS NOT A PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTIC 

"ASIAN"

image

IS

image

NOT

image

A

image

PHYSICAL

image

CHARACTERISTIC

image

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO “LOOK ASIAN” BECAUSE WE DO NOT ALL LOOK ALIKE

IT 

image

IS

image

IMPOSSIBLE

image

TO

image

"LOOK"

image

"ASIAN"

image

BECAUSE

image

WE

image

DO

image

NOT

image

ALL

image

LOOK

image

ALIKE

image

American comedian Hari Kondabolu has a Bachelor degree in Comparative Politics and a Masters degree in Human Rights from the London School of Economics. His thesis focused on Mexican migrants and their rights under the UN Guiding Principles on Internal Displacement. He was also a human rights activist in Seattle. His comedy offers hilarious and biting social commentary. He recently appeared on Conan. He began by saying: “I would like you all to know that the theme of my set tonight will be colonialism. Which is why I’m speaking only in English.” He ends with a funny and clever chess allegory!

[TW: Sexual Assault, rape culture, victim blaming]

His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn’t even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.

I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, didn’t feel… just waited for him to stop.

Twilight: Eclipse p. 331 (Bella and Jacob’s first kiss)

This is rape culture.

Young women are taught to think of this passage - which describes sexual assault - as erotic. Young men are taught to force their will on young women, regardless of any (non)verbal cues, because sex is conquest and women are objects - not something to be done between two consenting individuals because it’s pleasurable for both people.


The most frightening thing about this excerpt is that many survivors of sexual assault who have disclosed to me describe stories that sound exactly like this one.

(via profeministbro)

tumblr user clockward submitted this to us. read at your leisure.

(via robert-pattinson-hates-his-life)

Vomiting everywhere

(via arilyn-anson Well shit, i didn’t know it was this bad. Wow. (via fuckthacistem)

The lines before that:

    He still had my chin—his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt—and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes.
    “N—-” I started to object, but it was too late.

And after he assaulted her she punched him in the face but due to his “super human strength” she broke her hand, said “Don’t touch me!” and then:

    “Just let me drive you home,” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around my waist.

    I jerked away from him.

And then:

    When he got in the driver’s side, he was whistling.

AND THEN while he was driving:

    “…There is so much I can give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn’t even kiss you like that—-because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you, Bella.”

    I held up my injured hand.

    He sighed. “That wasn’t my fault. You should have known better.”

And then:

    He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back.”

    I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, hissing when my broken hand reacted.

    “Are you okay?” he asked. 

     “I did not.”

    “I think I can tell the difference.”

    “Obviously you can’t——that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off me, you idi*t.”

    He laughed a low, throaty laugh. “Touchy. Almost overly defensive, I would say.

    I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything I said.

Then when she gets home, to where her father, Charlie, the police officer, is:

    “Why did she hit you?”

    “Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed.

    “Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him.

(via wejustkeepswimming)

I didn’t read the citation first. I read the quote. I thought I was reading a woman’s account of how she was about to be raped, not a fucking passage from a romance novel. 

(via karenfelloutofbedagain)

This is astonishing. And I am almost never astonished by rape culture anymore.

(via malcolmjamalwarlock)

(via malcolmjamalwarlock)

feministsoccupyhalloween:

girlsgetbusyzine:

“Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street” was inspired by International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

It was created by a group of women and men in NYC who believe that street harassment is wrong, and that we all have a role to play in ending it - especially us guys.

The video shows non-violent some ways that men can interrupt street harassment as it happens. (And it happens all the time. Seriously. Go check. We will wait.)

Join us by sharing this video. And the next time you witness street harassment - and you will - say some shit. Please.

For more information on this video, email: pleasestopnyc@gmail.com

I love these guys.

(via fuckyeahfeminists)

jackiekashian:

#yesallwomen I did a standup show at isla vista UCSB one week to the day before the guy shot up the town. There was shock and the guy’s crazy “reasoning” came out and women EVERYWHERE just started pointing out the obvious things that women live with that men don’t and haven’t even thought about. The hundreds of decent men I know, personally, are shocked and made aware of these things. They are sad about what they are learning, but they are learning it. There are millions of decent men, who I don’t know, who are learning these things and talking about how to help make everyone’s experience slightly better.

And there are the guys who can’t hear it. Which, when no one is attacking them specifically, there are only a couple reasons a person couldn’t acknowledge a common experience that is being shared from millions of women.

There are amazing things being pointed out that are just a part of a regular day in being a human female. I don’t think about it much, it’s all automatic now. The examples listed are great, but I was reminded of the low level, constant awareness of my surroundings, constant placating of some men, constant ignoring of sexual comments from some men, and a constant answering of inappropriate questions at work and in social situations about relationships, plans for relationships, children, sex and wardrobe choices.

#yesallwomen isn’t about OTHER discussions that need to be had…gun safety and mental illness. (We are living in the first 40 pages of Watership Down here, folks).

#yesallwomen means; Every woman. Your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, the lady at Starbucks. Women wearing clothes, women not wearing clothes. Women covered because of conservative religious beliefs and an eleven year old girl wearing her brother’s football jersey. And, yes, even me. I’m not Helen of Troy over here. I’ve never been the woman that nations fight wars about.  I’ve looked like some version of what I look like now since I was 16. track 3: “If you miss YOUR mom, I’ll hug you.”  I’m no tiny, fairy beauty that infuriates a particular kind of man into feeling that women are “teases” and “bitches.” But I, too, have been belittled verbally and physically attacked for no other reason I can think of except that I’m the woman standing in front of these guys.

I worked three summers in a gay resort town of Provincetown, MA at a footlong hotdog stand (1989joke: “put a condiment on that” killed with drunk gay guys). We had two 15 yr old guys filling the sodas and they had grown up in p-town. They hated gay guys. Because there are some gay guys who treat men like some straight guys treat women. Hitting on them, trying to flirt when it’s clear that it isn’t working. The women who worked at the hotdog stand explained to these young men that that’s how women live their lives.

I do a bit on my new album (“98% of Men” out last month and available from amazon and iTunes ;) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IV8K7C4/ref=dm_ws_tlw_trk11)  about how I know the majority of the people on this planet are good (and 2% of the people, men and women, are broken… so live a little defensively, but not crazy defensive, like Nancy Grace wants you to). I’ve “not been killed” a half dozen times by guys that were annoyed but took no as a complete sentence. But there is no award for not being horrible. Because you took no for an answer, because you didn’t rape someone, because you didn’t shake your baby when it wouldn’t shut up isn’t a reason to have a trophy made.

So when I heard what some men are saying, I was confused. I was confused at the men that ARE taking these comments personally… saying that, because women are pointing out how their lives exist, that “women hate all men.” Then these gentlemen also insist that a specific statement such as “a man that kills women hates women” is “too sweeping.” I have thought about all of this as I’ve watched the conversation wash over me. And I have a theory about where it’s coming from:

The guys that take all these things as personal attacks; “you’re lumping us all together” you’re insisting on “collective guilt,” feel attacked because they FEEL guilty - EVEN IF THEY’VE DONE NOTHING.


1. There are men that feel they SHOULD have been doing something and are mad at their own lack of Superpowers.
2. Worse, there are men that HAVE done something…if only creep on women … and feel like they’re being called on it. And they are. This is a call to stop it. Just…stop it. It’s not okay. It’s not funny. It’s not effective. It’s bad. Stop it.
3. Or, and this could be anyone of us, and it takes a grown adult of any gender to admit it, there are men that have stood by.

I am not the hero of this story. I’ve stood by. I’ve let men say things to other women around me…and not spoke up. I’ve let racism be spoken around me and not spoke up. I’ve let people be mean to their kids…smacking an ear in public mean…and said nothing. Hell, I’ve let men say and elbow squeeze ME and not said anything.

I’ve stood by. I once didn’t help a man who was a. Either being mugged or b. Using the words, “someone’s chasing me” as a ploy to get into a locked corridor I was in. I’ll never know if that guy got hurt because I couldn’t trust enough to help him…but I was scared it was a ploy to get into the safety of the apartment I was house sitting at 12:30am in NYC. I know, in my head, that I made the choice to make sure I was safe. But I still feel like I was a coward. And I still think about it.

But sometimes I’m afraid of the confrontation. Of the argument. Of not having the words or the physical strength to back up my convictions. I hate getting hit. But, sometimes, I still think I’m going to get hit. And no one has hit me in years. And I’ve only had to get walked to my car after a show twice in the last ten years. So, these are residual fears that still affect my life. I’ve made peace with the fact that I have been cowardly in the past. And I’ve realized that I will not always be brave. But, dammit, I try.

The way I live now is not from a place of guilt but from a place of responsibility. We all, as people taking part in our collective social contract, have a responsibility to each other. Each to our abilities and willingness to find the courage to stand up to …whatever you want to call them; bullies, crazies (both male and female) or the clinically insane …I call them assholes. I don’t do it every time, even now. It’s the kind of thing that takes practice; for me, I have to practice not BEING an asshole, as well as not allowing it AROUND me. I have to remind myself that standing up to assholes is a confrontation I do not want to have but I have to find the willingness to have. And I’m still judgmental and snappish and, so, not a fucking saint either. So I’ve got plenty of work to do. But I work on being willing to do that work.

Maybe it’s because I do standup and the underdog is always the hero in my eyes. The person to whom no tout in the world would suggest you put your money on… Women, Children, various non-white ethnic groups, the handicapped, the insane, the homeless…even a white guy with a shitty haircut…these are the people that comedy comes from, in my life.

Fish don’t think about water, they just live their lives in it. So this hashtag thing just reminds us, to each other, that we aren’t alone, or crazy for not being cool with it.  And everyone’s life is in a water we can’t know, without comedy. Comedy gives us a glimpse into other waters. Other people’s families, other people’s jobs, other people’s lives. It takes us all swimming in a lake of Native American rage or an Arkansas off-the-grid lifestyle. (What are those people hiding from?) When a comedian or a book or a show reveals to me a world I have never thought about or realized existed …I am briefly ashamed that I never saw it, and then I laugh. At all of us.

Let’s all work on telling assholes to shut up as well as not being assholes ourselves.